I saw the demon. Got a glimpse of it when it attacked. Now it’s infecting my mind space. It’s digging in its talons. Icy tendrils of adrenaline wrap around my organs. Eyes widen. My heart rate spikes. My breathing becomes quick and shallow. Every fiber of my body tells me I’m under attack. “Flee or fight!” it screams! And I do the only thing I can do. I fight. Continue reading Anxiety
I first saw hate up close and personal in my early teens. I intervened when a couple of guys from school decided it was a good day to beat up one of my best friends because they perceived him as being gay. Did you get that? They didn’t know, they just assumed, and they deemed him worthy of a beating because of it.
Something in me broke that day. I felt it snap, and as I jogged around the cemetery near my house that evening to shed the remaining adrenaline and anger from the fight, I lashed out at God. Yep. That’s right. Little ol’ teenage me was furious with God. Please let me explain. Continue reading Let’s Make it Not About Being Right or Wrong, but About Being Love
This book. Woah. It almost rendered me speechless. Almost. It also almost made me ugly cry on the plane a half dozen times. Almost. The fact is, Glennon Melton Doyle, author of Carry On, Warrior and my favorite blog, Momastery, superbly took all the feels straight out of my heart and put WORDS to them! WORDS! Brilliant, riveting, funny, emotional words that give substance to all the love I want to show to and share with the world and don’t know how to express!!
I received quite the string of compliments last night from a woman I respect, who I think is strong and capable, but then she had a question for me that was hard to answer. She wanted to know what made me such a strong woman. I know she desperately wanted a real answer, but I think I gave her the wide-eyed owl blink/stare and then a laugh (okay, perhaps more of a guffaw) and told her whatever she saw was all a facade! I know. Totally helpful, right?! Continue reading Strong Enough
I have a confession. I occasionally struggle with anger and resentment. I know! For some of you this is a shocking thing to read! Many of my friends and family tell me my usual posts (which haven’t made it to my blog yet) are inspiring, uplifting, encouraging and generally positive. I’m here to tell you that just because I want to put positive vibes out into a world that’s already overflowing with negativity doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes deal with negative thoughts and feelings. Even we annoyingly positive people still live in the real world and deal with real problems and pain. Continue reading When Insult Meets Injury…Do Something
Ricardo at GLSEN headquarters recently asked me to write a blog post about how GLSEN Greater Wichita got its start and to give some pointers to other people interested in starting a GLSEN Chapter in their area. I agreed to do it, and through this experience I learned that writing for a deadline is hard, y’all. Props to you real writers out there who can get inspired words to strike on demand. Anyhoo, I found it incredibly difficult to tell the story in a concise and coherent post! Someday I’d like to write up the whole, long, messy and inspired story about how GLSEN Greater Wichita came to be, but for now if you’d like to know more about it, you’ll have to check it out here.
Originally published January 13, 2014
Thanks to my three year old son, we own the song Let it Go from the new Disney movie Frozen. We listen to it regularly, loudly and on repeat. It’s on my phone, my computer and my MP3 player, making it possible for us to sing along to it almost anywhere, and we DO sing along to it almost anywhere. Today while I was preparing a meal for the crockpot and he was painting at the table, the song blared on repeat, and I realized why I love this song so much. Let me break down some of the lyrics for you, but first, you have to know something. I have anxiety. It’s not as bad as it used to be, and most of the time I consider myself “cured.” FYI, the way I’m measuring being cured means I made it through the holidays this year without throwing up or breaking out in a rash, and I spoke in front of a large group of women last fall without…well, throwing up or breaking out in a rash. Things that either I haven’t been able to do for the past several years and/or never would have thought I was able to do a few years ago. Every time I hear this Disney song, though, something stirs inside of me. It’s like an anthem for part of my soul that didn’t have the words to escape before. Some genius Disney songwriter found the words… Yes, I’m a bit dramatic when it comes to speaking about emotions, but follow me through this song to understand, will ya? Continue reading The Post Anxiety Anthem… Why I love the song from Frozen
Society can break people. On the day I realized this, I was in a 6th grade classroom in Manhattan, Ks. It would be my first opportunity in life to look someone in the eyes and try to help them heal. I was a sparkly-eyed bilingual elementary education student teacher with dreams of changing the world, in what I considered at the time to be a diverse school. That’s when a 6th grade student, Francisco*, broke my heart.