Not the Right Person

“You are not the right person for this.”

The words were mine. Silent thoughts challenged the calling I felt tugging at my heart. I believed them. I stayed small and quiet.

The tugging at my heart became so painful I had no choice. I understood I was not the right person, but if I don’t act, who will? I looked, listened, waited. There were no other volunteers.

“Who are you to think you can change anything? You are nobody.”

Doubt was powerful, but I was born obstinate. I defied the doubt. Magic began to happen.

“You don’t belong.”

The words were mine, and then were given a voice by others, validating my doubts. Insecurity paralyzed me.

“You’re doing the work. You’re showing up. You’re making a difference. Don’t listen to anything else,” friends encouraged me.

“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback,” Brené Brown freed me. 

“You are not the right person for this.”

I know, but… maybe I am?

“You’re going to disappoint people.”

People make mistakes. I’ll practice giving grace by giving it to myself. Besides, I’d disappoint myself if I didn’t at least try.

“You’re going to make things worse.”

Oh, yeah? Watch me. I won’t be small and quiet. You’re not the boss of me, Fear.

You are not the right person for this.

Look, maybe you’re right, Doubt, but I’m gonna keep showing up, keep speaking up, keep getting my ass kicked – figuratively, of course – keep getting up and back in the arena, and keep doing the best I can until the right person shows up. How about that?

“Who are you to think you can change anything? You are nobody.”

Yada yada. No wait. Maybe you’re right. … …  Nope. I’m good.

You are not the right person for this.”

WHYYYY are you still here, Doubt? We’ve already determined Fear is not the boss of me. You know what? Fine. Stay. It’s fun proving you wrong every day. You know, I hear even Moses doubted his calling, and Mother Teresa had doubts about God. I guess I’m in good company. You torment the do-ers. I’ve got you figured out. Here, you can just take this back seat while I make this magic happen… until the right person comes along anyway.

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